Go to sleep, Nepeta
by flyingsaucerscout
Summary: Nepeta invades everyone's privacy by sleeping on them. Unfortunately for her, she can't seem to stay asleep for long. Everyone kicks her out! How rude! NepetaxEveryone in a way.


**A/N- OK, I know I abandoned my hetalia fics… but sometimes you need to try something new before you can get back to the old. This is just one little oneshot, and I hope y'all enjoy it while I get back on my feet for the multichapters~**

**This takes place in a pretty specific point in time… just about right when they enter the veil, I assume everyone was worn out and took a nap. And thus, this silly and not very well-written fic.**

**Story time!**

I had a problem. Even though I was so exhausted, I couldn't sleep. There was no way I could go to bed without Pounce! All my life, she looked out for me, and every single night I'd sleep curled up with her. I always thought I was grateful of her, but now that she was gone I realized just how much I'd taken her warmth for granted. Now, we were in this cold, dark lab, and everyone had ran off to their own chambers to be alone, and I was stuck in mine, lonely and tired and rolling around on the floor as if it were supposed to make it more comfortable.

I couldn't do it. Every time I closed my eyes, they snapped open again. Every time I pulled my jacket over myself as a blanket, I kicked it off. There was no way I could sleep without someone else. I had to find someone willing to take their cat nap with me!

I tried the most logical choice first- Karkitty of course! He's our brave leader, and even if he acts really mean on the outside, I know he's a softie. If he could be any more of an open book, he'd literally wear his emotions on his sleeve, with little Velcro patches and everything! Also, he's kind of a furnace from all of his fuming, so he'd be a really cozy cuddle buddy.

When I found him, he was absolutely knocked out! Completely sprawled on the floor, slack-jawed and so adorable! I tip-toed over to him, careful not to wake him up, and curled up into his side. It was good that he was such a heavy sleeper, or else I might have had to ask for permission. Smiling contentedly, I began to drift to sleep.

"Nepeta!" I was jolted awake by a scream followed by my name. Karkat was on his feet, all wide eyes and shallow breaths. He seemed really scared by something! "Fuck… Nepeta, you can't just _do_ that."

"Do what?" I asked innocently. Really, all I'd done was curl up with him.

Karkat flicked his wrists around, as if he was trying to sculpt the words that couldn't come out of his mouth in the air. He looked really frustrated now, and was trying to cover up the fact that he'd been scared. "You can't just decide to _sleep_ with someone without their consent!" he finally managed.

"Oh. Do you consent?" I wanted to know.

"OUT. Shoo! Scat!" Without giving me an answer, he was already shoving me onto the appearifier pad and sending me away. "Go sleep with one of your roleplay friends or something!" Huh. Maybe he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to get me sick? Probably that's all it was.

"OK, good night, Karkat!" I waved cheerfully, moving on to the next candidate. Well, Karkat did suggest one of my roleplay friends, so Terezi seemed like a nice match! She wasn't as warm as Karkitty, but we have a good thing going in character, so I didn't think she'd mind!

I transportalized into her designated room to find her fast asleep already. Well, I couldn't really tell at first, because she was still wearing the red sunglasses and that same grin that's always on her face. But she wasn't moving too much and her breathing was pretty slow, so she probably was sleeping. In her arms, she clutched one of her scalemates. Every so often, she'd give it a light squeeze and it would let out a small squeak. So adorable!

I weaseled into her arms, pushing the scalemate off to the side. This was perfect; I knew she'd be a great cuddler! Unfortunately, I had spoken too soon. Just as I was drifting off to sleep though, I felt a constricting force around my tummy. Terezi was squeezing me a lot harder than she did with the scalemate! I thought she was expecting a squeak, so I made one of my own. "Peep!" It wasn't enough for her, though, and she just kept constricting tighter, growing more impatient in her motions as she began to dig her fingernails into my side and pull me even more harshly into her stomach. "Peep! Peep! Peep!" I squeaked in desperation, but she wasn't letting up.

"T-Terezi…" I whined. I didn't want to wake her up but she was really hurting me! Spotting her scalemate, I reached out and grabbed it by the foot- just in my reach! I held him off to the side just a bit and gave a tentative squeeze.

_Squeeeak._

Upon hearing the noise, Terezi immediately let go and tackled her dragon plush. I was free! Phew!

After that fiasco, I skittered off to the transportalizer again and beamed out of there as quickly as possible. Who knew she was such a demanding sleeper! I tried to think of who else wouldn't mind my company. Normally, I'd go to Equius, but he's always so cautious around me, like he's afraid he might crush me- and I suppose those fears are kind of rational, considering how easily he breaks everything without even meaning to. He really is strong! I mean, what if he's a kicker?

I sat in the middle of the circle of transportalizers for a long moment before finally deciding on Gamzee. He always had a pretty calming presence, with his droopy eyelids and silly smile. He was friendly to everyone, even when they told him he wasn't acting how a highblood was supposed to… and I respected him for that! It was nice to know that there was someone else who could care less what blood meant.

When I looked in his room, though, he was nowhere to be seen! Just some scattered horns and clubs. How odd!

Again, I was on my own. I supposed I did have another roleplay friend I could try. Vriska was nice… sometimes… occasionally… maybe once or twice. Still, I think she likes me sort of so I decided she was my next best bet. But, just like Gamzee, she was gone too! How weird!

This really really stunk! I just wanted to go to sleep, but there was nobody that could take me in! With a huff, I sat down in the circle of appearifiers again. Eridan maybe? He complains about land-dwellers, but he's tried to hit on me before so I guess he can't think that poorly of me. I shrug, figuring why not- if I can get to sleep, it's worth it!

So, once again, I found myself on another transportalizer, sneaking into someone's room. Eridan had pulled himself into a loose fetal position, his cape draped over him. One hand was at his mouth so he could suck his thumb, the other up his shirt. It was a little disconcerting, but I was already there, so I pushed his knees away from his chest, rolled into a ball, pulled his cape over the two of us and nestled into place.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Thanks to his cape, it was nice and warm, and he even put his arm around me! How sweet! Even if it was completely subconscious, it was nice to see him so caring. With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes and began to drift off…

"Mmm… Fef…" Eridan mumbled in his sleep.

Oh _nooooo_.

A look of horror crossed my face, and I tried to gently remove his arm, but it was too late. The loose hold turned to a vice grip, and his puckered fishy lips were just looming closer and closer!

"Eek! Eridan! I'm not Feferi!" I struggled to get out of the way, but he really wasn't letting up! I tried to pry his fingers off one by one, but as soon as I got a few loose, he caught me again. Seeing as I wasn't going to get out, I ducked my head down, and his lips met the blue felt of my hat. Disaster averted!

Or so I thought. He wasn't stopping. He got the hat again, a horn, my cheek… and it was seriously starting to freak me out! Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I swatted him in the face. Really, I didn't want to hurt him but I certainly wasn't flushing for him so it was kind of unwelcome! As expected, he aborted his mission to cover his face with his hands, and I took the window of opportunity to make a beeline for the transportalizer, not stopping until I was in the circle.

Again.

One good thing did come out of the… experience with Eridan, though. He gave me an idea. Feferi, of course! She was super nice to everyone, so she would love someone to snuggle with! Enthused by my genius idea, I trotted over to her transportalizer and beamed myself to her room. She was in an odd position with her limbs thrown everywhere and her hair was even more crazy than usual. It was funny-I guess I expected the empress to sleep a little more regally! I giggled at the thought. How was royalty supposed to sleep anyway? On their back, I supposed, all peaceful and proper.

Despite her funny position, I managed to sidle up with her. Her clothes were really soft and comfy, so I figured I could afford to pull a little closer. But of course, once again, I was wrong. Just as I was falling asleep, I felt a sharp blow to my stomach. I didn't realize it at first, but Feferi had actually smacked me with considerable force! It's not that I doubted she had the strength in her, but more that she would do it to me! I coughed, coiling up to cover where she'd hit. Ow ow ow! This was even worse than sleeping with Terezi!

I supposed it was just a little shifting in her sleep, because after that she rolled over onto her back and moved her hand away, letting it rest on her stomach instead. Just an honest mistake. She was sleeping; it's not like she meant to hit me. I snuggled up to her again to get comfortable with her shift.

Instead of staying still, though, she brought her leg up and swiftly kneed me in the back! That was enough to elicit a startled yelp, and enough for me to reconsider my 'genius' idea! So much for that, think pan! I scooted away as quickly as I could manage.

I was back in the circle. Who even was left? Sollux, Aradia, Equius… Tavros! Tavros was super sweet and he shared my love for animals. And he was paralyzed so he couldn't kick me! As for his arms, he's pretty gentle normally, so I didn't think it would be a problem. Why didn't I think of him before?

When I reached his room, I heard some talking. Ugh, of COURSE he was a sleep-talker! How was a lost, lonely kitten supposed to get ANY sleep around here! I almost turned around right then, but then I realized it wasn't Tavros' voice. And there were two of them.

"Get the motherfuck out of here, I was first."

"No can do! First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with-"

"Hi guys!" I greeted Gamzee and Vriska. They stood over a passed out Tavros, arguing about something. It looked like it was about who would sleep with him. I don't know why they don't put it to rest and just have a threesome.

"Nepeta, what the hell are you doing?" Vriska wanted to know.

"I'm lonely and I can't sleep." I frowned and rocked back and forth on my heels to emphasize how cute and in need of cuddling I was.

"Sorry to hear that, sister, but there's some personal issues all in need of resolvement here," Gamzee looked briefly to me with tired eyes before aiming a darker look at Vriska.

"Resolvement isn't a word, you dumbass!" Vriska threw back.

"O-okay, I'll just go try someone else then…" I hurried out of there, not wanting to get caught in the middle of any crossfire. Normally I would help and try to catalyze the ship, but I was just so tired and cranky! Sorry Tav!

I was running out of options here! I wanted to cry, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. It certainly wouldn't help me sleep!

I still had a few more options. I spun around the middle of the circle for a few rotations before landing on Kanaya's transportalizer. I hopped on and beamed myself to her room.

I breathed a sigh of relief when there weren't any voices. So far, so good. But as I continued through the room, I noticed the faint glow of what looked like candles. There was a really strong smell in the air, too, and I coughed when the sharp stink of incense clouded my senses suddenly (and I still kind of was winded from Feferi's blow).

Kanaya stopped what she was doing- which was sprinkling some sort of dried leaves over a circle of candles with some sort of symbol drawn in the middle. "Good evening, Nepeta. What brings you to my séance circle?"

"Is that what this is?" I stared at the setup. "What's that?" I reached out to prod the symbol in the middle.

"Don't touch that!"

I instantly drew my hand back. I'd never heard her raise her voice even slightly before that, so I figured it was really important. "Anyway, I can't sleep, so I was looking for someone to cuddle with. But nobody will let me sleep with them!"

"I suppose you could stay here. I myself am not available to, ah… cuddle, but perhaps the warmth of the candles will help?" she suggested.

"I don't think it'll work. The smell is kind of… overbearing," I admitted sheepishly. "Thanks, though, Kanaya." To show that there were no hard feelings, I threw my arms around her for a quick hug. She returned it lightly and patted me on the head.

"I wish you luck, Nepeta," Kanaya gave me a soft smile and sent me on my way.

Back to square one, I supposed.

Sollux. Sollux was still left. I wasn't too close to him, but he was a team player so I knew he would help poor Nepeta if she were in need of anything. Which I am! So, I trotted to his transportalizer and in a flash I was in his room. I wasn't going to waste any time with hesitations! It was getting really late! At this rate, everyone would be awake again soon.

When I found him, he was just lying on his side, a contented smile on his face. He didn't talk, and he wasn't in a strange position so it looked like he hadn't been thrashing around or anything. I curled up close to him, careful not to jostle him around or disturb him. I was so tired that I just instantly fell asleep…

I was startled from my sweet dream by a few things at once. There was a very loud exploding noise, which came with an intense flash of light! Also, I felt a shock- kind of like being electrocuted! I sat up to find Sollux, his eyes glowing with an energy that crackled all around him, panting and startled, kind of like Karkitty except more dangerous.

"NP. You thcared the thit out of me," Sollux shook a little too, like he was trying to contain himself. Which was good, because I didn't want him making a hole in me like he'd done with the wall!

"I- I'm sorry," I stammered. Now, not only was I tired, but I was terrified, too- and it wasn't mixing well. I could feel myself getting really emotional, tears budding in the corners of my eyes. I swatted them away, but it wasn't much use.

He gave an exhausted sigh. "No it'th jutht… we're all kind of on edge. Thneaking up on thomeone while they thleep ithn't helping."

"Oh- okay," I looked down at my feet, a little ashamed. I supposed I should have thought of that earlier, waking them up before just sleeping with them. But I already knew none of them would be good sleeping partners anyway.

"Thorry, NP, but you have to find thomeone elthe. I don't want to blatht another hole in the wall." Sollux gestured to the still-smoking mess of melted metal. "You can't exthpect me to remember you're there when I wake up."

I nodded in understanding and stood up to go. "All right, nighty-night, sleep tight!" I dismissed myself, returning through the transportalizer.

When I got to the other side, I wasn't exactly expecting a robot in my face.

So I screamed.

"Nepeta, it's me," Aradia said, her voice flat and calm.

I blinked once and laughed. "Sorry, you just startled me!" I explained in between giggles.

She put her hands on my shoulders to still me. "Nepeta, what did you do to Sollux?"

I bit my lip. That'd be a hard one to explain. "I accidentally scared him." I left it vague.

"By?" she pressed.

"Um well, you see, I couldn't get to sleep because I don't have my lusus anymore, and I've kind of been wandering around this place for someone to snuggle with but everyone is either a feisty sleeper or kicked me out and I'm not even sure how to explain Kanaya's case and…" I trailed off, frowning.

"So you tried sleeping with Sollux," she concluded.

"Well… um, yeah," I affirmed.

She was silent for a minute. "Why?"

"I told you, everyone else kicked me out," I answered.

"I haven't."

"Well I was um… looking for someone that's… warm. And soft." I wasn't sure if pointing out that she was a robot would offend her, so my voice was really quiet and kind of squeaky as I said it.

"Ah." She didn't say much more than that on the matter, so I hoped I was in the clear. "And you've tried everyone?"

"Well um… there's still one left," I admitted, wringing my hands. An expectant look from her told me I should elaborate. "I haven't gone to Equius yet, OK? I'm kind of scared because he always breaks things without trying to, and that's while he's conscious. And I've already experienced that everyone gets super strength when they sleep! I think Feferi left a bruise!" I lifted up my shirt to show her the dark spot forming on my stomach.

"Nepeta, put that away." She motioned for me to put down my shirt. I obeyed quickly. She thought for a moment, then offered a small smile. "You know, Equius is actually surprisingly gentle in his subconscious," she told me.

"Really? You're not just trying to get rid of me?" I asked.

"Really," Aradia confirmed. "Go to sleep, Nepeta."

"OK, good night, Aradia!" I hurried over to Equius' transportalizer for my last hope, the only troll left that could possibly save me from this insomnia!

I reached Equius' sleeping form and tapped his cheek a few times. "Equius… Equius…" The whispers of his name became more urgent until he finally stirred with a groan.

"I'm going to sleep here, OK," I told him, curling up against him and using his chest as a pillow.

"Hnnfffngg," he mumbled.

I took it as a yes. "Sweet dreams," I purred, finally able to close my eyes and stay asleep for the best, most needed rest I'd ever needed. He didn't even twitch.

**A/N Hope everyone enjoyed~ reviews are nice since I'm writing for a new fandom :o**


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